Location: Palm Beach County, Florida, United States

Recently have been told I look like Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. I hadn't heard that in years, but that is a good place to start as to what I look like, although she had a better bod. I have three boys and have been married for 13 years. Born of a Navy family, in Hawaii, one Mom, one Dad, one sister and one brother. The eldest of three children. BS in Applied Mathematics. Consider Pensacola my home town although I moved every 2-3 years of my life growing up. Currently work in the aerospace industry in an engineering position while being a Mom. Of Celtic heritage and very proud of it.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Wax On, Wax Off

I’m over the whole home waxing thing. When you live in Fl and you swim as much as we do, you have to wax or… well, I just won’t go there. Sure, you can pay someone to do it, but when you’re a Mom, when do you have time to make an appointment for THAT, especially during the summer time? Besides, it gets expensive, as you have to do it every couple weeks. And don’t believe that bunk that after you wax enough the hair doesn’t grow back. That’s BS. Haven’t seen it happen yet. The only time I didn’t have to shave my legs every day or every other day was when I was pregnant and for some reason the hair on my legs just quit growing. Who knows why? Must be a blood flow thing. (I shave my legs. Something about pulling wax off my legs doesn’t sit well with me.)

I have had more damn mishaps with that wax. Now I’m not going to go into waxing detail here… in particular, not bikini waxing detail because this isn’t a soft porn site. This is mainly about dealing with the wax in general and certain weird things that come up.

This eyebrow thing… I’m over it too. Who came up with this eyebrow plucking business? I have always hated it, so much so that my sister used to sing this stupid song to harass me. Remember the tune for Putt Putt golf? “putt putt for the fun of it… putt putt for the fun of it..” It became “pluck pluck for the fun of it.., pluck pluck for the fun of it.” It’s not that it’s painful. It’s not. It just makes me sneeze. Every time. And now it is psychosomatic as I bought this new fangled wax from Sally’s the other day and as I started to pay for it, I started to sneeze. (Waxing looks cleaner than plucking for you men not in the know.) And do I need to talk about how many types of frickin’ wax there are? Beeswax, wax kits with applicators, wax kits with muslin (to pull of the wax), wax where you don’t need muslin (just yank the hard wax off with your fingers!), face wax, body wax, European wax, wax that’s been doing eyebrows since 1929, wax you heat in the microwave, wax you heat on your stove, non-heatable wax you name it and it’s there. A shelf full. I promise.

I pick this face wax that is on sale. It’s got an applicator, which means I don’t have to buy a bunch of Popsicle sticks, and you heat it on the stove. You heat it on low. I am too impatient. I put it on too high. So now it’s bubbling. I grab it off the burner and it spills on my stove top. This isn’t like candle wax. They added crap to it, so it never gets that hard. You can’t just pull it off or scrape it off. I have this wax stuck there and there are only two ways I know how to get wax off: stick the wax stuck object in the freezer and I obviously can’t put my stove top in my freezer or heat it back up and try to wipe it off. I was just afraid that turning on the stove top would make a bigger mess, so I Googled it, which didn’t help much. Everything was about ear wax and candle wax. I did end up HERE, which was a fascinating governmental site called “Ask a Scientist.” Didn’t help that much as they were trying to get wax off a wall. (Based out of Illinois, BTW.) Anyway, I did turn on my stove and managed to wipe it all off with no residue. Thankfully. I didn’t want to have to explain THAT to my better half after what happened last time…

You would think I would learn to be more careful. One time while doing a bikini waxing, I heated it up in the kitchen and managed to get it in my bathroom without incident. Then somehow I end up spilling some of it on my bathroom tiled floor. Thank God for tile. What a bear to get up. I decided to try hot water. I figured I would melt it again and then mop it up. No. That spread the wax residue even further on the floor. Grrr.

So I’m over this whole waxing business. And it really doesn’t hurt, but the mess is more than I can handle at this point. I’m voting for the political candidate that is all for very hairy women. HUMPF! (I know, I know... living with such a spazz like me is a laugh a minute...)


Blogger littlejoe said...

You could always try a different style swimsuit. I've seen the ones that look like they have shorts for bottoms. One, and two piece.

11:51 PM  
Blogger Sally said...

Are you SURE it's worth voting for John Kerry just so you can happily go around looking like a Frenchwoman?

I agree with you. Waxing is always a pain. Those bikinis with the shorts and little skirts are great though! I mean, if you've got the legs for them, how often do women over the age of twenty get to wear something that short without looking like a slut?

6:09 AM  
Blogger Tammi said...

I am with you on that. Over it over it over it. An we really must be sisters, as I've had to ban myself from doing it at home. The mess? You should see what happens on carpet!!!

6:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sheez Bou. This makes me happy that I only have to shave my chin every now and then. It's okay if you turn into hairy frenchwoman-like person though. I'm sure you'll bathe more often than them, so people won't get confused.

8:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BTW the above was from Me.

Johnny - Oh

(I really hate Blogger's comments. You should switch to haloscan.)

8:03 AM  
Blogger Boudicca said...

After the spilling of the wax all over the bathroom floor, I switched to shorty shorts! I have the legs for it. And you're right, where else can I wear something that short at my age?!

I have to look into Haloscan, Johnny Oh. I'll put it on my list of things I need to look to upgrade.

8:18 AM  
Blogger Harvey said...

The good thing about using haloscan is that it gives you trackbacks, too.

As for this hair removal business - I say Gilette Mach 3.

And I remember the Putt Putt golf song :-)

9:06 AM  
Blogger Boudicca said...

Harv- as for teh Gillette... razor stubble is attractive on a man... not so much on a woman. *ahem*

I think T1G has haloscan via blogger, so I need to go look at his blog.

I wish 'Ernie' eyebrows for women were vogue...

9:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bou, you're killin' me! You have got to buy the Sally Hanson Waxing kit. It comes with the waxing wands and there is no mess. The wands sit in the heating mechanism, you wait 30 minutes for it to heat up, then done! It has a wider wand for Bikini and a thin one for the brows. It's 10 years later and you're little sis' is still giving you grooming advise!


9:49 AM  
Blogger Boudicca said...

OK, OK. I'll go look for the Sally Hanson kit. A half hour is kinda long to heat isn't it? I mean, I stuck that little tin of wax on high on the burner and PRESTO, instant hot wax! Of course I had to let it cool a bit...

9:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jeeze... this is more than I need to know.

9:48 PM  

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