I Majored in the Sciences, Dammit!

For some reason, any person who knows what I did in my previous life, before kids, thinks that I would be a great treasurer for their organization because I’m ‘good with numbers’. Sure, I once had the fundamental theorem of calculus attached to the top of my graduation cap so my parents could easily identify me amongst the throngs of graduates, and I can balance a checkbook, but that does not mean I qualify as a frickin’ Treasurer! I am not a CPA or a Banker!

Damn. These people. And you know what is worse? I frickin’ said YES!!! I am now the Treasurer for a small woman’s group, fortunately only carrying a balance of a few hundred dollars and using a manual ledger and get this… I’m the Treasurer for the damn School! And here’s the real frickin’ kicker. I was TOP on their list of who to ask. What in the hell were they thinking? I didn’t want to just flat out say no since my kids go there and I’m all about helping out with the school, so I said to the nominating committee, “Well, I’m a Prod, don’t you think you should find a Catholic?” Great peals of laughter, “Hell no, we don’t care about that stuff.” Evidently we are not in Ireland. I guess they figured since the resident Prod had been running the Catholic spaghetti dinner for the last 3 years, it’s no biggy. Then I tried this approach. I walked into the principal’s office and said, “Mr. H., you need to know that whatever needs to be done for this school, I will help with. That does include being Treasurer. However, that said, if someone tells you they want this job, you should give it to them.” I was met with a grin and a “Mrs. xxxxx, I assure you that nobody is going to ask for this job. It is yours.” Damn.

I receive a call yesterday from the Treasurer I am replacing. She is talking about banks and signature cards, and just stuff and I am listening thinking to myself, “This sucks because once someone finds out I’ve been Treasurer for the school, they’re going to think I can be for their organization too” and then she says “Peachtree”. Wha? She repeats, “Do you know what Peachtree is?” and I think, “Finally, an answer I know”. Just as I was about to say, “Yes! It’s a major street in downtown Atlanta… everything is named after it!” she says, “You know, Peachtree the software program”. Wha? I would have felt so damn dumb. Thank God she beat me to it. I simply said, “I’ve never worked with it, I’m sure it can’t be that hard.” I can muddle through just about anything. I hope. For some reason they think if you know math, you know business.

Please allow me to be very clear to all non scientific types…. I never took one business class in school. Nada. Zippo. El Zilcharoonee. I took Analysis of Variance. I took Micrco Computers. I took Partial Differential Equations (the second class after Ordinary Partial Differential Equations that engineers take). I did NOT take Econ. I did NOT take one Accounting class. I did NOT even take one Marketing class. I know NOTHING of them… but for some stupid reason, someone finds out you frickin’ majored in Mathematics and you are suddenly fit to be their damn Treasurer. HUMPF!