School Week in Review

Son#2 almost got poked in the eye with a pencil. I happened to be in the clinic doing my new damn Treasurer duties when he came in to have it checked out. (You don’t think our old school has the room for the Treasurer do you? Pish Posh! NO! Last year’s Treasurer sat on the floor of the school office. I declined and said I would sit in the clinic as long as there were no barfing kids.) Anyway, I NEARLY barfed when he came in speaking of eye poking incident. The nurse had to handle it, but was more concerned I was going to lose it and pass out in her clinic. The only good thing is he crawled in my lap and let me smooch all over him, a real treat since it was the middle of the day and he doesn’t let me kiss him in public anymore. I’m allowed to run my nose through his hair on the top of his head. That’s it. Anyway, I sent him back to his class saying, “You tell Minnie if she gets near your eye again with a pencil, I’m calling her Mom or I’m coming after her. Do you hear? Tell her I’m serious!” Heh. Did I tell you he’s only in 2nd grade? Oh yeah, I feel big and powerful. I threatened a 2nd grade girl that probably weighs 35 pounds.

Son#3 informed me that the Hokey Pokey is ‘the stupidest dance they ever came up with’. I thought all kids loved the Hokey Pokey. Wrong. Then he informed me that he ‘haded to kiss Lisa today at the Lite Brite because she stuck her face up to his, but he didn’t get a time out.’ I can hear it now, 20 years from now at the dinner table at Thanksgiving, girlfriends with us, and someone saying, “So, where were you when you kissed your first girl?” and Son#3 saying, “Oh, that’s easy. At the Lite Brites at kindergarten.” We’ve had a talk about no more kissing, no matter if she actually pushes her face up against his lips.

And lastly, Son#1. I forgot to tell you in last night’s Post, that Man Teacher ended the video with the entire class standing and singing, “Take Me Home Country Roads” by John Denver. It was introduced by one of the kids as, “The most popular song when you were in 4th grade.” Hunh. That is assuming of course that we’re all the same age. Which we’re not. I looked it up, 1971. I was 6, 1st grade, so he was close. Anyway, the entire class is singing this song and you need to keep in mind, this is a S. Fl school, so there is no accent, there isn’t a Southern born and bred child in this class. When these kids got to the lyric,

“West Virginia, mountain momma”

EVERY SINGLE CHILD in that class developed the most southern twang you have ever heard in your life. I was so damn proud. Nearly brought tears to my eyes. Evidently they were imitating someone singing on the tape… must’ve been a John Denver twang I was hearin’. Funny stuff.