Location: Palm Beach County, Florida, United States

Recently have been told I look like Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. I hadn't heard that in years, but that is a good place to start as to what I look like, although she had a better bod. I have three boys and have been married for 13 years. Born of a Navy family, in Hawaii, one Mom, one Dad, one sister and one brother. The eldest of three children. BS in Applied Mathematics. Consider Pensacola my home town although I moved every 2-3 years of my life growing up. Currently work in the aerospace industry in an engineering position while being a Mom. Of Celtic heritage and very proud of it.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Put The Blame Where It Belongs.. All 478 Lbs of It!

Forget the drink alerts, this is a ‘you might vomit’ alert, so I suggest if you’re eating while reading this, move to a different Post. While reading the article I’m about to write about, I was eating breakfast and had to actually move on to another section of the paper for fear I would lose it. You’ve been warned.

This was first brought to my attention by Blog Sis Anathematized over at Cleanse the World; Rivers of Blood. I agreed it was nasty nasty. Then today, it appeared on the front page of our newspaper. A 4’8” 478lb, 39 year old woman, died last week in Stuart, which is about 25 minutes north of me. The emergency crew found her with labored breathing, on her couch and she had not moved from that couch in so long, the fibers of the couch had fused to the skin on her back. She was sitting in filth, feces, and urine. Her apartment was so disgusting, full of rotting food and bugs as well, that two days after she died, the stench still permeated from the house 90 feet away. She was so big, they could not fit her in the ambulance, besides not being able to move her from the couch due to the ‘fusion’, so they got her out onto a borrowed trailer pulled by a pick up.

So now, guess what? The government is looking to see who is responsible for this. Who can they press charges against? Who can they hold responsible? She had family and friends, but if you read the LONG DAMN article, you will find that most of her family were in and out of jail for drug possession. Great family, eh? Her ‘live in’ boyfriend was in and out of jail on drug charges and even got a DUI on his bike a couple years ago. Neighbors say he was the type to just hang in the front yard and drink beer. Do you think this guy maybe had a substance abuse problem?

Then of course there is the cousin that works for DCF (that’s our family services group) and they’ve been investigating her, wanting to pin it on her somehow, even though she hasn’t seen her cousin in FIVE YEARS! Luckily they found her innocent of misconduct.

OK, so this is my take. So Sad, Too Bad, She’s Dead. Her fault. Personal Responsibility and all that jazz. She was a 39 year old woman! Give me a fucking break! She had a high school diploma at no time was it indicated she was mentally deficient. She even adopted some kids at one point. Last I saw, they didn’t just let any Joe Shit the Ragman off the street adopt someone’s kids. Evidently someone saw this person to be a good woman. You can read the whole sordid tale of how it came to pass that she ended up growing herself to the couch, but the bottom line is, it’s NOBODY’S FAULT BUT HERS!

Her own sister said that she was a hardheaded woman and then said, “Why should we go to jail? She was a grown woman. She could make her own decisions.” Exactly.

So this is the scenario I have in my head. People visit in the beginning, offering to help. “No, No, No”, she says, “I am fine.” Complete martyr, I don’t need your help. This goes on for years and people finally quit asking. The stench starts to get bad because even if she was getting up to go to the bathroom in the beginning, with 400 lbs of fat, there is bad body odor. As time progresses, people stop coming by because it smells bad and hell, she’s not letting them help. They probably lost sympathy, because that is easy to do when you’re with someone who won’t let you help and won’t help themselves. She’s living with an addict, she’s surrounded by addicts, what else do you expect. Who I feel sorry for is the 14 year old daughter.

Let it go. She’s dead. Find a good home for her daughter and move on. She killed herself. End of Story.


Blogger Tammi said...

So help me understand when we stopped going with the thought of personal responsibility? I can gar-un-damn-tee you that if I fall apart, it's no ones fault but mine! When you get that big, it's no ones fault but your own. When the house gets that bad, it's no ones fault but your own.

BTW, can you tell I agree with you? It's no one's fault but her own.

8:56 PM  
Blogger That 1 Guy said...

A-frickin-men!!! How the hell is it someone else's fault if I balloon to the weight of a small steer? My fault, plain and simple. Cold, sorry, but true.

I do feel sorry for her daughter.

12:32 AM  
Blogger Harvey said...

Although Steven of Hog on Ice raises a good question:

Who kept bringing her food?

12:04 PM  
Blogger pamibe said...

That's the first question Arthur asked: Who fed her?

Sounds like suicide to me. :/

1:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some people want to be one with nature, others choose to be one with couch.

Yuck...that fusing thing is the one bit that made me want to hurl.

Toluca Nole

3:14 PM  
Blogger Anathematized1 said...

Errr, am I missing something here? We're in America..Who the fuck takes responsibility for their own actions anymore???

I found the small article I came across to be particularly deliciously wrong. One thing that stood out for me in the long article was the reason she stayed on the couch. I can sort of understand her an extent.

I have a congenital bone disorder and I've basically been informed if I have a good fall and break a leg, it could fracture into tiny parts and I would likely need an amputation. Being a fat-ass clutz I'm almost always in constant fear of doing something to my legs and having more of a problem to deal with than being a short, fatassed, in a legless, wheelchair bound, EXTRA-fatass clutz.

That being said...I don't sit on my couch 24/7, even if that includes sitting on FRIEND'S couches. I enjoy the occasional bout of exercise, and I'm actually QUITE pissed off I will likely not be able to make it to this weekend's re-enactment event due to an injury at work (strained my back and dislocated my kneecap so it's big-time fun ouchies...being short sux ass)

On some small part I can understand her fear (well there are people with difference psychoses and anxiety disorders). She had no one really to help her and she couldn't/wouldn't help herself. It was her problem and she faced the ultimate penalty for it..But, I have to agree that I feel sorry for the kids. Did I miss something cause I didn't see any mention made of the boy she adopted.

4:25 PM  
Blogger Boudicca said...

I didn't see any reference to her son, but based on his adoption age, he should be an adult, I think 19.

As for who fed her, they found all sorts of junk food wrappers and stuff. That tells me one of two things: Either her 'boyfriend' was buying this crap for her, and he had lost it too because no sane person lives like they described that apartment, or her 14 year old daughter. Her daughter only knows what she has seen and if her Mom only ate garbage, that is what she knows. That daughter has been permanently damaged.

10:43 PM  

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