Location: Palm Beach County, Florida, United States

Recently have been told I look like Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. I hadn't heard that in years, but that is a good place to start as to what I look like, although she had a better bod. I have three boys and have been married for 13 years. Born of a Navy family, in Hawaii, one Mom, one Dad, one sister and one brother. The eldest of three children. BS in Applied Mathematics. Consider Pensacola my home town although I moved every 2-3 years of my life growing up. Currently work in the aerospace industry in an engineering position while being a Mom. Of Celtic heritage and very proud of it.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Bow to Me… I Rule… Or so I Thought…

They’re calling me the Queen at work. I know, it sounds ugly, but I started it and it’s become a joke. (It is very fitting, come to think of it, knowing who Boudicca was and all...) When someone disagreed with me today I could hear some cube rat say, “Off with their heads!”

It’s because I hate training. And I hate people making me do things I don’t want to do. I get this attitude where I glare them down, cross my arms, dig my heels in and say, “No. I don’t want to. And YOU can’t MAKE me.” Nice, eh? You’d think I’d grow up. But at some point in time, I just got tired of the proverbial corporate crap I was constantly having to take and developed ‘attitude’.

It happened during the pregnancy of my 3rd child, although it may have been before I just don’t remember it. Perhaps it was a “I’m creating life, dammit, hear me ROAR!” thing. Who the hell knows? All I know, is suddenly I didn’t want to play by anyone’s rules anymore. I had kids, a husband, a house, a job, someone was always wanting something from me and I was sick of giving… giving up, giving in… all of the above. I was sick of not being the Mistress of her own Ship on all aspects of my life… tired of it all.

At my old company, they said we all HAD TO HAVE 40 hours of training a year. I called BS on them. I only worked 20 hours a week and they wanted 2 weeks of my time for training? I had a job to do and quite frankly, I no longer wanted to expand my horizons or anything else, my hips and abs had been expanded enough. I wanted nothing new in my life. Leave me the hell alone, let me do my job. Dammit. So somehow I seemed to fly under the radar, doing just enough training to get by… and not really being noticed as they were in the midst of constant lay offs and preparing to close the plant.

So now, for the last four years, not being monetarily employed, I have been ruling my roost. I make the rules in this house, my husband isn’t home enough to create the structure, and I do it all… doctors appointments, food shopping, cooking, nuturing, tutoring, carpooling, signing them up for extra curricular activities… and… I listen to no one. Nope. Nobody. Sure, major things I talk to my spouse about when he’s at home, like whether or not it is time to buy a car, but for the most part, I just run the house by myself. (Except for the damn social crap he keeps making me attend, but we won’t go there.)

But… but… but… now I am working FOR someone again. And I get an e-mail from my company and it says something about ‘Compliance training software issues’ and I think, ‘I’m part time, forget that’ and… I blow it away. About two hours later, something is nagging me in the back of my mind and I walk down the hall to the freezing cube farm and say to my boss, ‘Uhhh, does that compliance training crap apply to me?’ to which he laughs and says,

“Oh yes it does, my dear. You must have the first 3 completed by 10 March or you lose your job.”

And so it goes:

Me: Me? I have to?

Boss: Yup.

Me: Are you sure because last I looked, I only worked 10 hours a week and that is barely part time. I mean, me?

Boss: Yup. You’ll be terminated if you don’t do it.

My friend who hired me: (laughing)

Boss: there is a password…

Me: A password? Oh crap.

Friend: You blew that e-mail away didn’t you.

Me: Umm. Probably. Me? ARE YOU SURE *I* have to take this training?

Boss and Friend almost simultaneously: YES!

Me: But… I’ve been the Queen for the last 4 years, running my own castle with three kids… Crap. You’re serious. I have to do this, don’t I?

Boss: Yup. If you have to, e-mail HQ and they’ll send you a new password.

Friend: Do that as a last resort. I don’t think it’s cool to call HQ and tell them you blew away the e-mail for mandatory training for all employees because you didn’t think it applied to you.

Me: This sucks. I can’t believe *I'm* being MADE to do something.

Friend: Off with their heads!!!

I found my compliance training password. For some reason I hadn’t blown that e-mail away. Thank you to the Gods of Boudicca’s Universe… I didn’t have to call HQ in shame.

This sucks. I really really want to dig my heels in and say, “You can’t make me!”… but they can. They have the upper hand. This sucks.


Blogger Jen H said...

I can relate. Last year, my old company asked me to come back to fill in for a former co-worker during her maternity leave. I was working 9-3 M-F, but I was back on temporary status. I had to do online training during the 8 weeks I was back, or it would go on my permanent employment record. There were at least 6 'courses' I had to complete.

I hope to go back to this company when the kids start going to school, so I did the darn courses. I even had to attend a 2 hour class on information security. I tried like heck to get out of it, but my boss insisted it was for my own good.

9:38 PM  
Blogger PractiGal said...

Yeah, I'm part-time too, and mainly work out of my house. I had to take "harrassment awareness" training though... I guess so I wouldn't harrass anyone by phone or e-mail. I think they're just CYA-ing. We all had to sign off when we'd completed it. Bogus.


7:34 AM  
Blogger Contagion said...

We have compliance training at my place of employement, and it involves EVERYONE. We don't care if you are an under-paid intern or the CEO, we all have to take it. It's boring, it's stale, and it's about 2 hours of my life I'll never get back, but it's something we have to do. Most companies now, if you don't take it will and can fire you on the spot for violation of corporate integrity and insubordination.

7:57 AM  
Blogger Harvey said...

My bank started by offering us the *option* of taking some on-line banking-related courses. I took all the ones that were even VAGUELY related to my job.

Then I took the ones which might look good on a resume.

There's nothing left for me to take except courses on obscure Federal compliance issues - which have nothing to do with my job.

However, last year they instituted a policy to require ALL employees to take 2 classes a year. On their own time.

They DO pay you for spending the time, but it's still irksome, because these courses don't do anything to make me a better teller anymore.

It's a waste of my time and their money.

10:07 AM  
Blogger _Jon said...

My company has huge training requirements. Everyone has to have a certain number of hours per year. Everyone has a training course charted out each year. Every manager is rated on the training of their employees. We are a finance company, publicly held, so the SOX stuff was critical. Same theme - take it or you are fired. Same with harrasment and discrimination, plus mandatory online tests about "Corporate Policy Letter #3" - excessive gifts.

I hate it, but I consider it part of the paycheck, just like filling out the timecard and writing documentation.

The ironic thing is that the online software that we use for training is better than the software we provide for our customers to check and maintain their accounts with! I've pointed this out to management, but it seems to have fallen on deaf ears.

And, yes, I have a *reeeeal* problem with authority. But I also have my own company, so at least I can see the "corporate perspective".

5:18 PM  
Blogger That 1 Guy said...

Okay, this may sound like I'm not being sympathetic, but I am. But I just want to point out that your conversation sounds alot like Bones talking a couple of posts below. Just sayin'. ;)

5:54 PM  
Blogger VW said...

Interesting... ever since I have had a child, my Husband calls me 'Queen'. Must be a mother/engineer thing. GRIN. I would have loved to see you trying to get out of this training. I could see you trying to stare down someone taller than you {snicker snicker}

6:49 PM  
Blogger Tammi said...

First...I've been trying to comment all flippin' evening! It's like having no voice in the middle of a great conversation. I don't remember what I was going to say! LOL something about they must not have gotten the memo....I swear, it was really funny 5 hours ago!! ;-)

9:57 PM  
Blogger Boudicca said...

T1G... I'm not happy. :( GRRR.

This compliance training can be done on-line at work... it is software driven. The first ones are the standard: ethics, sexual harrassment, and espionage.

Then there are 7 more. My eyes may glaze over. They'll find me dead at my desk... dead from boredom. GRRR.

10:49 PM  

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