Lions, Tigers, and Hamsters, Oh My!

The links are UP, which means this is here... the pending post I wrote of yesterday.

I suspect this post is going to get a collective *Gasp* from the women (although some will laugh), a LOL (more than likely) from the men, and my Mom could be really torqued when she reads this, but she may do the horrified laugh thing like I did.

On Blog Sister Anathematized's blog, then followed on Grau's Blog, there was THIS, which is very funny. You have to watch it if you have not. If you watch it, MAKE SURE you look at the little lion and tiger and what is in their paws as they dance next to the zebra. The whole thing is a riot and I can now definitively tell you where Kenya is located, and that's not bad since we've not been to war there. And I think my new saying now is "Holy Crap, Lions! Tours"

So I show this to my boys and we are laughing, in particular Son#1 who can get a good belly laugh going like his Mama...we both love to find the absolutely absurd in life. The whole writing on the tour bus and everything, he and I were watching it over and over finding little things and laughing.

Well if you go back to the home page, you'll find there are a lot of cartoons. I clicked through a few of them and he and I watched them. They were benign.

The next day after school he asked to go on the internet and as he usually goes to Nick.com, I didn't think anything of it and said yes. Well he went back to that webpage and was flipping through the cartoons.

You can see this coming can't you? Tell me you can see where I am going with this.

He starts laughing out loud and yells, "Hey Mom! Come look at this one! This is hysterical." He's laughing so hard he's about to cry. I walk in and he hits play on THIS. Fair warning, I am unsure if this is considered work safe or not. Seriously. There are no naked women or people having sex, but as an adult... I'm just not sure it's work safe. Let me say, the title is Aubrey the Ar$e Hamster. But see, I didn't see the title, or the precautionary note about possibly being offended by Ar$es, Hamsters or the two of them together. I was called in after all that or it got clicked so fast it flashed before my eyes. And before anyone asks, YES, I have parental controls on my computer.

Also, if you have not clicked on it, let me say up front that I am so used to my nekkid kids pointing their backsides at each other at shower time and acting like they're passing gas at each other, I don't even tell them to stop anymore. I feel at this point if they aren't doing it in public or in front of guests, I've won some part of the battle. So I fully understand this whole backside thing is very funny to them. Boys think that the following things are funny: gas from either end of the body, bodily fluids, and backsides.

I'm standing there behind him and a big cartoon backside appears. As I remember it (I REFUSE to watch it again), my 9 year old is already laughing at the backside, and... a... hamster... pops... out. A talking hamster. A British talking Hamster. I am about ready to die. Do I scream? Laugh? Cry? I'm at a loss. So I laugh. That's what he's doing. His is a HaHaHa, 'this is funny' laugh and this is my high pitched 'I'm so horrified I might actually cry' laugh. Then this hamster starts talking about how she's nothing but a hamster stuck in some guy's ar$e reading poetry, or something, and Son#1 is laughing louder.

Now what do I do? To him it is just an incredibly absurd cartoon. Some hamster lives in some guys body and jumps out his backside every now and then and reads poetry or whatever she does. To me... I can be rather naive, but I've been around long enough to hear stories. I've heard the 'gerbils going places they shouldn't be going' stories. So I played it off as a completely stupid cartoon. ...And I'm leaving it alone.

So this reminds me of the time my family went to Cedar Rapids in OH. We were all allowed to buy one souvenir. My brother was about 5 and he picked this cute little egg in a nest and it said, "You'd smile too if you'd just been laid." To him, it was so sweet.To my Mom... she was horrified! But what was she going to do? So she let this little guy go up to the counter and purchase it... much to her embarrassment. Flash forward 10 years, he is going through his drawers and finds this little souvenier and it clicks. And we all laugh. And my Mom finally tells us of her horror in his having picked this out with its double entendre.

...And this is what I see happening in 10-15 years, when he hears first of these gerbil stories (a quick prayer that it is actually 10-15 years before he hears such things or possibly that he actually NEVER does!) and he remembers this cartoon...and he realizes that it was not what he thought. I wonder if he will ever say anything to me. I bet not. I bet by then he'll decide I don't know... the old protect Mom 'because she can't possibly know anything about these horrible things because she's my Mom'. You know the attitude towards Moms, the old, "My Mom is pure and only had sex (insert number of children here) times".

Until then, I am telling him to not talk about the cartoons to anyone. The last thing I need is for his buddy's Mom to call me and say, "What is this I am hearing about hamsters?" I will die.