We Are Blessed

The complete lack of ability to communicate outside this home didn’t start to rattle me until today when Bellsouth said no phone until the 24th at least. By then, I just kept myself busy. Cleaning the house, going through piles of papers I’ve been meaning to get to, going to the yard and cleaning more debris. The more I kept busy, the less I seemed to notice that I was stuck in my head with nobody to talk to. Cell phones as well as land phones are out, no end in sight. E-mail and internet, the first to go, and I felt certain the the last to come back on.

Yet I still felt fortunate. We had power. We had ½ tank of gas per vehicle. I had non perishable food in my pantry and if I got desperate, I knew I could go in town to my husband’s office and call if I had to. Other than calling my parents, I had no need.

Protein other than nuts and fish and TV dinners are unobtainable. I have become spoiled in this modern society, buying my meat fresh every two days. I never keep meat in my freezer and fresh vegetables are a given living in S. Florida. By today we had fresh vegetables again, but still no dairy or meat. And I feel fortunate because there are people in this county that have nothing. I mean nothing. They are scrounging for ice, begging for food, down to their last crackers. They are waiting in miles long lines for MREs at the fairgrounds. Food is coming in as fast as they can truck it, but it never seems fast enough. Necessities are off the shelf in a matter of hours.

I am quiet as I go through Publix, feeling guilt that I have power where I know there are people around me who have none. Cable too… go figure. I never lost cable. There are people going nuts because they don’t have cable whereas I would say, “Take my cable please if that means the people 5 miles away will have power.”

A real low… Monday night, I heard Publix was open. I was just looking for meat. I had ravioli in the freezer, but hamburger meat, while not a necessity, would be nice, so I ventured out to see. In the frozen section a man, evidently an alcoholic was in the throws of a massive breakdown that he could not buy beer. His wife, in her Walmart smock, stared in the freezer, saying nothing to continue to feed his rage. I quietly walked by, trying to act like I did not hear, trying to not notice the shame she was feeling as she was being verbally abused. ‘Can you Fucking believe it? It is a GD Monday and they won’t let me buy any GD beer? Who the fuck to they think they are?” and on and on went the tirade. Meanwhile behind him were cases and cases of ice cold beer, blue tape across them, and a sign informing that it was a Federal Offense to sell alcohol. And as I left, I prayed that he would keep his rage verbal and that he would not beat her.