Location: Palm Beach County, Florida, United States

Recently have been told I look like Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. I hadn't heard that in years, but that is a good place to start as to what I look like, although she had a better bod. I have three boys and have been married for 13 years. Born of a Navy family, in Hawaii, one Mom, one Dad, one sister and one brother. The eldest of three children. BS in Applied Mathematics. Consider Pensacola my home town although I moved every 2-3 years of my life growing up. Currently work in the aerospace industry in an engineering position while being a Mom. Of Celtic heritage and very proud of it.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

A Post For Harvey

I was in my supermarket today checking out and I couldn’t help but notice the magazine and tabloid headlines. Even if you don’t buy them, you can’t help but notice them. Newsweek had something like, “Searching for Kerry’s Character.” Please. Everyone has known the man was going to get the Dem nomination for how long now? We have 3 months left to the election and we’re still searching for his character? My reply to that is, “Good luck. When you find it, it’s lying next to Jimmy Hoffa.”

Ahhh… but that is not what this post is really about.

A tabloid had something like “Dolly Parton’s Breasts are Killing Her” Now THAT is what this is really about. Breasts. Which is why it’s in Harvey’s honor. Harvey the ultimate Mammary Man!

In reading this headline I thought, “How is that? When she sleeps on her back, do her boobs press upwards closing off her nostrils, restricting airflow? Or do they lay upward against her throat, cutting off all oxygen?” I mean, how in the world do breasts kill you? (Other than the very serious topic of Breast Cancer, which is nothing to joke about.) They may smother a partner… but the owner? I don’t see it. But that led me down this long train of thought… Women really spend a lot of time dealing with their breasts. It’s a sex thing, a nurturing thing, a part of us, American society doesn’t want to see too much of them naked, but the more they bulge out of t-shirts the better. Just look at the latest tight fashions. And a lot of women really aren’t happy with what they have, at least not down here in S. FL.

I spoke to a plastic surgeon once (he was a friend of a friends, I wasn’t consulting one for anything… I’m all real) and was quizzing him on why women have breast surgery. He said his happiest patients are the ones who get breast reductions. I didn’t understand that really until a woman I know told me this story. She is past child bearing years, and way way over a D cup. She was sitting on the couch, T-shirt, no bra, her significant other sat down beside her and… She screamed! In pain! He had sat on her nipple! Yes, gravity takes effect and if you are well endowed, well, that is more sagging. Needless to say, she got a breast reduction and is very very happy. No kidding. I would be too.

I’m not a well endowed woman. I’m a B cup. 32B to be exact. And I like ‘em that way and would even be happy with a 32A since that would probably preclude me from EVER having to wear a bra, not even when I run. I hate those things. So I can’t imagine not being able to go braless for fear someone would sit on my nipple.

Women are very proud when they get augmentation or reduction. I do not know a woman yet, that hasn’t had breast implants and hasn’t taken all her girlfriends in a back room to ‘show them off’. YEEAAIII!!!. Thankfully, I have not been privy to the viewing parties. They don’t want me there. First of all, to know me is to know that unless you are a damn good friend, I can come off as unapproachable and I’m definitely not a boobie show and tell kinda gal. And, I am too scientific. All the other girls say, “Oooh!!! Look how pretty they are! They’re so perky! Oh they’re just the right size.” I’d be saying, “So exactly where did they cut you? Have you lost all nipple sensation? How long were you under? Did you vomit from the anesthesia?” I don’t care about the breasts, the process is interesting. And I am not lying when I say these women let other women feel them too. I can honestly say, I have never felt another woman’s breasts, fake or real. And I intend to keep it that way. I’ll leave it to you men. That’s your job, in my book.


Blogger littlejoe said...

Why can't gravity work in favor of men's, umm, parts? A little more dangle wouldn't be a bad thing ya know.

2:03 AM  
Blogger Contagion said...

I read that last paragraph like 50 times. It's going to be a long day at work with that mental image floating around my heads.

7:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Dr. is right. I have met two gals who had'em reduced. Both of them are always so happy and active. Both offered to show me and I refused both. I know their happy and all that but, jeez Louise, why would I want to see?


8:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My 17 year old neighbor across the street just had a reduction about 3 months ago. It's not just gravity, it's actual physical pain. Back pain and pain from where the bra straps cut into your shoulders in an effort to hold those bad boys up. Just think - if she was in that much pain now, what happens as she gets older? I've known several overly endowed women over the years - back pain is their biggest complaint.

Luckily no one has ever offered to do a show and tell though - thank goodness. LOL.

-- Teresa

6:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm...where are these parties you speak of?

Toluca Nole

6:36 PM  
Blogger Boudicca said...

Somehow I posted this at the wrong post!

Contagion- Glad I could help! :)

LJ, you're reminding me that I need to post one day on the 'Street Master'. Gotta put that on my list of gotta dos.

TN- Palm Beach County! They have all sorts of parties here! But I know they have 'em in LA too. :)

Teresa- You are right. It is a back pain issue in many ways. I've always felt bad for the women who had to wear the ugly white bras with the big thick white straps. They look really uncomfortable.

7:08 PM  
Blogger Tammi said...

Bou - I missed you!!! Great post (and stop reading my mind!)

I think I feel a post coming on in response!!!

7:19 PM  
Blogger Michele said...

Funny, funny, funny. TRUE... still funny. But from what I remember Dolly already had a breast reduction almost 10 years ago, what, they're still bothering her?

8:46 PM  
Blogger Boudicca said...

Ack! She already had them reduced? Wow. She needs to sue her surgeon.

None of this could be true though, it WAS the National Examiner or National Enquirer... or something like that!

8:50 PM  
Blogger The Keeme said...

Loved the story... looks like those things cause pain to both Men and Women.
Men cause we LOVE THEN SOP and get in trouble for being "Fascinated/Mesmerized" by then so.

And Women for what you said.



8:06 AM  

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