It's MY Vehicle!!!

I was at my mechanic’s today getting some work done. I saw a good friend of mine, male, who was getting his oil changed in his wife’s van. (She’s also a good friend of mine.) When he came back to get the oil changed on HIS car, I was still sitting there, 4 hours later. He looked at me amazed that I was still there and then said, “There’s no way in hell my wife would sit here for 4 hours… she wouldn’t be caught dead with maintaining her car. I do all of it.” I was very taken back by this as his wife is a very respected mechanical engineer. (He’s an electrical engineer. Those kids don’t have a prayer. It’s just flat out in the genes.) She doesn’t cook either. That took me by surprise when I was at their home once and opened the fridge to find a peach and a bottle of Tab. They grab their kids and eat out or at her Mother’s house for dinner… every night.

My folks raised me to be very independent. I’m not knocking families where the man maintains the cars… not at all. Actually, that’s very common. There is the whole division of labor thing. For me, however, that has never set well with me. I completely take care of all maintenance on my car from oil changes, to tire rotations, to major checks such as the timing belt at 100K. My husband is a total motor head so if it’s something I doubt, I do consult him; otherwise, I do it all. I have a couple different mechanics that I use for different things and I’ve developed as good a relationship with them as my husband has. I have no qualms on how long something is going to take as long as they have my car ready by the time I have to get my kids from school; I just take a book to read. I did this when I was single and I have kept it up since we were married. Division of labor in this household for cars: he maintains his car, I maintain mine.

I don’t want to get out of that habit. If my car breaks down, I need a pre-established relationship with my mechanic in the event my spouse is at work. If I called either of my mechs, broken down, I feel certain they’d come get me if I was in trouble! My mechs talk to me with respect and knowledge. They never talk down to me. (Can you imagine someone doing that to my face? They would have a short life.) And God forbid, should anything ever happen to my spouse, I’d be enough of a mess trying to keep my life together without trying to figure out how to maintain a damn car… which BTW, is VERY important. Whatever. It works for us.