Location: Palm Beach County, Florida, United States

Recently have been told I look like Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. I hadn't heard that in years, but that is a good place to start as to what I look like, although she had a better bod. I have three boys and have been married for 13 years. Born of a Navy family, in Hawaii, one Mom, one Dad, one sister and one brother. The eldest of three children. BS in Applied Mathematics. Consider Pensacola my home town although I moved every 2-3 years of my life growing up. Currently work in the aerospace industry in an engineering position while being a Mom. Of Celtic heritage and very proud of it.

Monday, December 27, 2004

In One Ear and Out the Other

I’m having a bit of a problem with Son#3’s language. I’m always hearing he says bad words. Typically, however, it is ‘shut up’, ‘pissed me off’, or his all time favorite, ‘crap’. Now I realize these aren’t really bad words, but coming out of a 5 year old’s mouth, it is not nice.

Son#2 came up to me yesterday afternoon and said, “Mom, Son#3 is saying bad words again.” (Son#3 is not around... this is evidently waaaaay after the fact.) Giving him a blank ‘I’m so over this’ look, I reply blandly, “Oh really? And what words would that be?” fully expecting the stock answer of shut up, pissed off, or crap. But imagine my surprise when Son#2 says, “B1tch, B@stard”. I’m wigging. (I’m not sure what work sensors don’t like, so I’m not writing the exact words.)

Last night we are at the table, we’ve just finished dessert, and it is just Son#3 and I remaining. He is sitting next to me, finishing his chocolate cake and I calmly say, “I hear you’re using words I don’t like.”

Son#3: looking kind of shocked, obviously wondering what I’m going to say next, and also looking like the cat that ate the canary, “Really? Which ones?”

Me: (I’m kind of horrifed… which ones?!!!) B1tch B@stard. I’m pretty serious here. I don’t want you saying stuff like that. Consider this your first and only warning. It happens again, you’re in no kidding, big trouble.

Son#3: OK. Is crap a bad word?

Me: Well, not really, but I prefer you not use it. OK?

Son#3: OK.

Me: Are you finished with your cake? (He has some on his plate he is not finishing.)

Son#3: Yeah. I don’t like it. It tastes like crap.

And with that, he got up and cleared his plate, taking it to the kitchen to be put in the dishwasher.

I am in so much trouble with this boy. I’m thinking we are not far from the old soap in the mouth….


Anonymous Anonymous said...

"No, not really, but I would prefer you not use it."

Hehehe... this kid being 5, you know all he heard was "No, not really, blahblahblahblahblahblahblah" :)

The tricky thing is probably trying to get the kids to not say stuff you keep catching yourself saying around them ;)


1:02 PM  
Blogger That 1 Guy said...

Damn, Bou, it's not funny, but it's hysterical at the same time! Of course this is from the guy who will tell you that bar soap is to be preferred over Dawn dishsoap, because you can keep the bar soap shavings from your tongue by keeping your head down! Dawn? Ughhh!! That stuff is nasty!

As you can tell, I ended up with a nice, clean, sparkly fresh mouth! :)

2:03 PM  
Blogger Graumagus said...

Dishwashing soap, definately. Stuff coats the mouth and takes awhile to go away....

2:11 PM  
Blogger Anita said...

I'm not generally an advocate of physical punishments of any form, even soap in the mouth, BUT I will tell you that I have friends who have used vinegar with tremendous success. They would make their child drink a teaspoon full of vinegar everytime they said a bad word or were mouthy . . .and apparently it worked.

I can sympathize with the problem though. My oldest is very conservative about his use of the language, but the little one just loves to spout out words that have to do with bodily functions at inopportune moments (are there ever opportune moments to discuss bodily functions?). Fortunately, he seems to use these words solely to heap abuse upon his older brother as opposed to general discussion.

Your story did crack me up though, but between chuckles you had my utmost sympathy.

4:01 PM  
Blogger Jody said...

Laughing. So. Hard.

I can only imagine what Brenna may pick up from my nephews when she is old enough to begin talking...

5:41 PM  
Blogger Harvey said...

Tell him he can't use those words until he's 13, because they're rated PG-13, and the MPAA will beat him up while he's sleeping if he says them before he's old enough.

Sorta like a reverse Santa Claus :-)

11:16 PM  
Blogger KTreva said...

I was going to suggest dishwashing soap, however it looks like Grau beat me to the punch. I tried bar soap with my oldest but it didn't work as well as smearing the liquid gooey stuff all over his tongue. That's a taste that's hard to get out and makes a lasting memory!

10:24 AM  
Blogger Ogre said...

Something that works very well with the younger kids, especially girls, is a little finger flick to the cheek when improper words come out. Just causes enough pain to really, really be annoying.

10:38 AM  
Blogger David said...

Son#3: "I don’t like it. It tastes like crap."


"Now that really concerns me! When have you eaten crap? Where did you get it? Did you know that it's unsanitary to eat crap? I really wish you would stop eating crap, because you can get really sick that way!"

And on...

Hey! If he knows what crap tastes like, it must be from eating some, somewhere... You might discover whether it's human, canine, feline or other.


If he protests that he hasn't eaten any, then you can point out to him that until he does, describing food as tasting like crap is simply stupid.

Of course, a five-year-old boy _might_ take that as a challenge...

1:40 PM  
Blogger Jen H said...

Can't wait until my 2 little boys are old enough to do this. The 3 year old tells me when I say naughty words while driving, so he obviously knows the difference. He also knows the word 'crap'. The younger one was eating a nutrigrain bar one evening. The husband says something like 'Ethan has snackie bar on his face". Carter's reply was "No, Ethan has crap on his face.' AWESOME...

8:54 PM  

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