The Things Boys Will Find to Amuse Themselves
As I said, my 7 year old got his Zoo Tycoon. Now if you’ve never played one of these games, they really are cool. The two older boys love playing Roller Coaster Tycoon. You have to set up the burger stands, hire janitorial crews, create the rollercoasters, etc. Here is an example of a conversation between the two older boys:
Son#1: You can’t do that! Listen, you can’t sell your burgers too cheap or you don’t make any money, you lose money. You can’t sell them for too much or nobody will buy them. The most you can charge is $2.50 a burger, throw a coke in there, and you turn a profit.
Did I say he was 9?
But the highlight to them is not running the burger stands. The highlight is seeing how many people they can make vomit on their rollercoasters. They can create rollercoasters so intense the visitors turn green, stagger from the ride and vomit. It’s true. I saw it. And if they don’t have the proper janitorial services, then your park gets full of vomit and you end up with the coveted award of ‘Year’s dirtiest park’ or something like that. You see the people walking around the piles of puke. Truly disgusting.
So when Son#2 received Zoo Tycoon 2, all I kept thinking was, “What can they do?”
Heh. Little did I know…
I hear at bedtime last night, Son#2 says, “Your tiger escaped. The fence didn’t hold him in.”
Son#1: I know, but he didn’t eat anyone.
Me: Wha??? Eat anyone? You mean your tigers can escape and eat someone?
Son#1: Yeah, it could happen.
I walk out and say to The Great Omnipotent One, “Did you know that in that new game, a tiger can escape and eat a person visiting the zoo?”
He replied, “Know it? Are you kidding, I saw him lifting people up and PLACING them into the lion’s cage and then the lions would flip them up in the air and eat them. They were using zoo visitors for food.”
How in the hell did I NOT see that coming? Forget turning profits. Forget taking care of the animals. It appears the cool part of Zoo Tycoon 2 is feeding the paid customers to the Lions.
posted by Bou | 11:38 AM
6 Comments:
The tycoons having discovered negative-cost food for the zoo's large mammal collection, does anybody really want to think about their supplier for those $2.50 burgers?
Junior Achievement may be in for a surprise.
Cheers... homebru
Fabulous! What a way to cut down on costs! Fresh meat is expensive, you know!
Yeah, that's what I told him. Remember the movie Soylent Yellow? Stroke of genius.
TGOO
Kinda gives new meaning to "Holy Crap! Lion Tours!", don't it? :-)
ROTFL! Must be the Roman in that Italian heritage coming out. :) Wonder if they will think of the extra source of revenue: not only do they have a negative cost food item, but if they sell extra tickets to the event...
Laughing Wolf
LW, LOL! I almost changed the title of this to "It must be in the blood" referring to their Roman/Italian heritage and their feeding people to the Lions!
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