Lord of the Flies

When our friends came for Saturday, I bought a ton of fresh fruit. (Side note for y’all that live in the great white north, as I was cutting our watermelon and assorted fruit, I was wearing a tank top, overall shorts and no shoes… oh it was beautiful outside! *evil grin*) Evidently, the cantaloupe or berries harbored fruit flies. It nearly ruined our evening.

My husband is very much a clean clean person. Bugs are a bad bad thing. So these fruit flies, suddenly there were hundreds and I do think most of them came from outside as 7 children kept leaving a slider open, where as they were a huge nuisance to me, they were literally making my better half absolutely insane.

When the adults sat down in the dining room, my husband had opened a bottle of a cabernet sauvignon. The flies would NOT leave the wine alone. We finally put all the wine in the kitchen and when dinner was over, about 30 flies had killed themselves through drowning in wine. We were down to about 2-3 flies, which seemed manageable, or so we thought…

The other place they like to hang out is at my vanity in my bathroom. Mine is not dirty. Mine just has perfume bottles, make up remover, a can of hairspray, and make up stacked along the sink. For some reason, this is a good thing for fruit flies and I cannot get rid of them once they find their way there. I resorted to putting a glass of red wine at my sink last night and killed 15 of them through our new ritual of drowning by way of wine. That still left about 5.

My husband gets up at 6 AM every morning, showers and shaves and I sleep in until about 6:30 whereby I get up and start the lunches and our routine. This morning, however, I was awakened at 6:15 by the sound of a towel snapping. That maniac was standing in our bathroom bound and determined to kill the rest of those fruit flies that had previously not become a slave to the grape. He was a man on a mission. If it happens again tomorrow I’m going to give him my standard reply when he gets WAY TOO FOCUSED on something… “You know… they have drugs for that now.”