Location: Palm Beach County, Florida, United States

Recently have been told I look like Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. I hadn't heard that in years, but that is a good place to start as to what I look like, although she had a better bod. I have three boys and have been married for 13 years. Born of a Navy family, in Hawaii, one Mom, one Dad, one sister and one brother. The eldest of three children. BS in Applied Mathematics. Consider Pensacola my home town although I moved every 2-3 years of my life growing up. Currently work in the aerospace industry in an engineering position while being a Mom. Of Celtic heritage and very proud of it.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

The Four Stooges

The boys and I were cleaning their bedrooms today. Their father has been out of town since Thursday and I needed to find something else to do to keep them constructively occupied as they were officially on my last nerve. They aren’t total slobs, so it wasn’t a huge job, but it did take time.

In Son#3’s room, I found a pile of whoopy cushions on his dresser. He informed me they all worked perfectly fine. As I put them in his closet I was thinking, ‘I don’t think you would find things like this in girl’s rooms.’ I spent my time putting away fake nunchucks, swords, whoopy cushions, rocks, and just ‘boy stuff’.

My Better Half finally makes it in from his trip around 5:30. I’m cooking dinner when he comes into the kitchen, leans over to kiss me and AS HE WAS KISSING ME, a horrible gas sound eminates from the back of his body. He says, “Oops! Excuse me!” I just kind of laughed, but kept cooking. So he leans over to kiss me again… and it happens again! Now I know something is up because he’s starting to laugh as he says, “Wow. Excuse me again” and then this sound occurs, over and over and the boys are laughing wildly.

They don’t grow up. He likes to buy the boys something while he is traveling. I’m cool with that. But he bought them a Fart Machine this time. As if they don’t try to create them enough on their own (Son#2 just drinks milk and doesn’t take a lactaid and we have instant green smelly gas) or get enough use from their whoopy cushions. Do I dare tell you how many times I have sat down to dinner, only to hear a whoopy cushion go off under my regular seat cushion? TOO MANY TIMES!

But now… now we have this Fart Machine from Spencer and the FOUR of them are running around the house making it go off here and there. I even found Son#1 sitting at the kitchen table, reading, Fart Machine in hand, pushing the button over and over… as if this was a comforting sound. Whaaaa?

Finally my Better Half said, “I think it’s a guy thing.” Yeah, I think so.


Blogger Anita said...

Oh my - - we'd better never let your better half meet my better half because my boys sure would like that Farting Machine. And I'm sure my husband would buy it for them in a sec if he knew such a thing existed.

7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you know... for years, i've thought that i'd like to have 2 boys when i have children someday... i'm rethinking. i'll just have to keep reading your blog and decide later if being a hockey mom is worth having animals in the house that relax by the fart machine instead of the fire...:)


8:03 PM  
Blogger That 1 Guy said...

Sounds like they had a "blast!" I've alway found humor in that, though I can't say exactly why. Besides it's funny, of course!

Back when I still was involved in the church youth group and their activities, the old whoopi cushion was always good for a few laughs! I remember one national Youth Congress .... whoopi cushions, and fart spray were the flavor of the day.

I'll probably go to hell for this, but a friend and I, armed with fart spray, went under the bleachers that were set up in this huge hall. It was a church service. There were thousands of high school age kids and young adults crammed into this place. It was great! During the song service we sprayed certain areas. It was funny as hell to watch all the feet shifting one way or another! Ah, good times, good times .....

12:43 AM  
Blogger VW said...

And my #1 Son laughs when he farts already, thanks to Dad. I do not want them to know about the Fart Machine and I do NOT want that passed down to my family. HUGE GRIN.

6:41 AM  
Blogger _Jon said...

That was funny.

1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! No, we never do. Have to mention this to the mother of my godsons... and duck. :)

3:37 PM  
Blogger Contagion said...

Oh mahn, I had something like that when I was kid.. I loved that thing... I used it until the button broke...

5:57 PM  
Blogger The Zero Boss said...

Wow, that was too good. You're getting blogged for that. :)

11:52 PM  

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