Location: Palm Beach County, Florida, United States

Recently have been told I look like Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. I hadn't heard that in years, but that is a good place to start as to what I look like, although she had a better bod. I have three boys and have been married for 13 years. Born of a Navy family, in Hawaii, one Mom, one Dad, one sister and one brother. The eldest of three children. BS in Applied Mathematics. Consider Pensacola my home town although I moved every 2-3 years of my life growing up. Currently work in the aerospace industry in an engineering position while being a Mom. Of Celtic heritage and very proud of it.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Christmas is Coming and I'm Running Away

Every year I put out a funny Christmas letter with a picture of my kids. It’s not one of those set Christmas pictures with my kids dressed sweetly sitting on the beach. Usually I grab them up, throw them in a collared shirt and long pants, wipe the food off their faces and say, “Stand there, dammit. And smile. It’s Christmas.” Then I take 24 pictures assuming one of them will have all three smiling. The other 23 usually have at least one kid whining, one giving another rabbit ears, someone is blinking, or a kid decides to make a face in protest… either thinking it is funny or wondering how far they can push me before I come totally unglued.

A sample of last year’s letter (yes, I replaced my name):

To recap this year, we had a frog commandeer the kid’s commode, an event that provided me with great fodder for my e-mail stories some of you receive, we discovered a hard boiled egg will fit down a bathroom sink drain with enough force applied, and growing a butterfly garden in the Boudicca Family yard only serves the purpose of providing caterpillar breakfast for the early bird. A rat took up residence in my van eating through wiring harnesses and rendering it undriveable. (It took 4 days to kill the rat, that ate the cheese, that took over the van that Boudicca drove. I crack myself up!) We’re currently adding an addition to our home which is throwing me over the edge. I seriously contemplated decorating the Port-O-Let in our front yard with Christmas lights and having this year’s Christmas picture with the kids gathered around, … but decided that it was a bit edgy even for me.

By this time of year I am usually finished with my Christmas shopping. This year I have bought two books. I’m tired, folks. I am tired. And it’s not a ‘tired I need more sleep’ tired, but an 'overwhelmed my bones hurt' tired that all Floridians are feeling. The thought of this holiday season is daunting to me. I am not in a good place.

I’ve been thinking about that damn Christmas letter and the thought of having to send out all those frickin’ cards. Bah! And I KNOW that someone out there has theirs finished and will mail it the day before Thanksgiving so I will receive it the day after. Let me tell you now, if you are one of those people… I hate you. One year I was so late I mailed out New Year’s letters.

I’m writing this year’s letter in my head. I’m thinking of something like this:

Got hit by two hurricanes. 1 Roof leak, lost some trees, but we’re fine. Parents got hit by a hurricane, need a new roof and lost a ton of trees. They are fine. Kids are one year older than last year. Still married. Husband hasn’t left me for someone younger or thinner yet. Life is good. Merry Christmas and Happy Efing New Year.

Hunh. Maybe not. Maybe I’ll wait until I find my happy place and am not feeling quite so edgy.


Blogger VW said...

Let me know if you decide not to use it... will work just as well for me. GRIN. I didn't get any cards out last year. So I have to work extra hard this year to make sure I get them out. Ugh. Definitely not in the mood to do it.

8:21 PM  
Blogger Tammi said...

Lee Ann took a card making course. She is very excited about it. She really is very talented at that stuff. Me...not so much. But, she did plant the seed that maybe I'll head to her house one Sunday and we'll do some cards up. Maybe then I'll actually mail them out. I kid you not, I have the Christmas cards I addressed 2 years ago packed away with the Christmas decorations thinking, oh shit, I'll just send them out next year.

I'm bad...I'm really bad.

9:48 PM  
Blogger Harvey said...

Christmas cards? How quaint.

I figure I have a blog & I have e-mail and if I don't like you enough to keep in touch via one of them, I probably don't like you enough to spend $.37 on a stamp every year :-)

6:53 AM  
Blogger Quality Weenie said...

Christmas shopping and cards are a competition between me and my sister.

Were always done with shopping before Thanksgiving and we try to send out cards before the other one does. It's turned into some what of a joke in the family now.

And ya, I do the christmas letter thing too. Have had quite a few compliments on it and people saying they look forward to our letter every year. It's quite humor filled.

8:34 AM  
Blogger pamibe said...

Sounds good to me... don't forget the blue tarp, though. ;)

5:46 PM  

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