Children are an Open Book

Every Tuesday after school, Son#1 has band practice. Our routine now is for me to pick up the other two boys and take them to this quaint little French Patisserie I found down the street from the Church/makeshift new school. I get them a quick snack, geting something to go for my trumpet player, and then we go back to school and do homework until Son#1 gets out of band practice. Over the last three weeks, the women in the shop have kind of come to expect to see us on Tuesdays.

Today I am standing there ordering their snack when my 5 year old says, "Mom. If Dad dies you aren't going to remarry. I know that." I'm standing there staring at him. He continues, "You really love my Daddy so I know you won't remarry." Have I mentioned lately that Son#3 does not speak, but only shouts? So I quietly said, "You are right. I would not remarry."

Of course I do not know for sure, never say never and all that, but I feel fairly certain I would not, but pray I am never in the horrible situation to have to find out. My husband and I discuss this a lot as this whole losing a spouse thing has really hit us hard. Three months ago, because of what has happened to J. and P. we went over my our life insurance policies as well as what we would receive in Social Security for the boys... anything helps.

So now I am standing in this little French Pastry Shop with my 5 year old declaring to God and Country... and anyone listening in this shop, that I love my husband and will not remarry should he die. Hmm. I am getting an odd look from the woman behind the counter.

But it does not end there. He continues, "Mom. If you die, you don't have to worry. We can take care of ourselves." Now the woman behind the counter has a mild look of surprise combined with horror. I said, 'You won't have to take care of yourselves. Mommy has made sure that if anything happens to me, there will be people who love you to help Daddy." and then I quietly turned to the woman behind the counter and murmured to her as I handed her payment, "We had a friend die this morning... a Mom." and her looked turned sympathetic and she nodded.