The Mood

I'm tired. I need to go to bed. Why am I up? I'm waiting for the frickin' 11:00 hurricane update. No kidding.

Tammi is on her way to the West Coast. As in FL. Not CA, although CA is looking pretty damn good right now even though they're full of fruitcakes in that state.

I'm staying put again. We have 3/4 of the shutters up and will do the remainder in the morning. If I get a chance, I'll post a picture of a house with shutters... the tin can effect. We'll be helping neighbors get theirs on too. Then my husband will run to his Dad's house and put the last shutter on his. It appears his Dad may be staying with my bro in law in Lauderdale. It really isn't right that he stay with us as we have to contend with 3 kids during this storm. My bro in law and his wife have ONE kid and no storm. He may be hanging down there.

I got the last 3 quarts of skim milk yesterday from Publix. I was waiting in line for gas when some Mom I don't know stopped at my car, then rolled down her window to inform me that Publix was totally out of milk. I thought it was really really nice. I guess the dead giveaway I'm a Mom, no kids were in the vehicle, was that I was in a mini van.

There is no gas in Palm Beach County to be found right now. I got gas at 10:30 AM and only had to wait 30 minutes. It was very orderly and I was impressed with how the gas station handled the line. They had employees directing people in and out so there was no cutting.

If you're not down here in S. Fl, I don't know how to describe the mood. We're all walking around like zombies. Whereas the typical greeting in Fl, like everywhere else, before Frances was "Hey! How ya doin'?", after Frances it became a tentative, "So, do you have power?" and is now, "Can you believe it? I'm not ready for this. Can you believe this?"

We're just numb. I'm not anxious. I'm not freaking. I'm just dead inside. Horrified. Appalled. I don't know. Stunned. Incredulous. Charley, Frances, Ivan, Jeanne.

And who do you wish this upon? I wish it upon nobody. I'm not sitting here wishing it would go North. I'm not fervently praying it goes West. We've all taken enough of a beating and some worse than others. The Carolinas and GA have had horrible flooding. Alabama has had vast destruction from Ivan. Florida... well we all know. And some cities are worse than others and I am very very afraid for the people of Ft. Pierce, Port St. Lucie, and Vero. Very afraid. I cannot wish this upon anyone, so I just sit here grinding my teeth knowing, if it comes this way, it is what it is. No prayers from me that it goes elsewhere.

We got the shutters down and up in 1.5 hours today. We're getting good at it. It's just not a skill I felt I needed to perfect.

I can tell my eldest is not quite right. Even his teacher noticed it and said something to me. He is being very quiet. He is stressed. Possibly depressed.

I'm a little nervous for the kids. Their new school is at this phenomenal Church that has opened their religious ed classrooms to us... the catch is the Church is located on a barrier island and that would just really suck if we lost the new school too.

Our kids have fallen so far behind academically this year. At least my kids don't have to take the FCAT. The governor has already stated there are no exemptions of public school kids from the FCAT. Port Saint Lucie schools are still closed. How much more stress can the kids take?

I'm not sure how this ramble is coming across. Disjointed? Apathetic? I don't know. As I said, it is difficult to describe how we are feeling. I just want to crawl in my bed and go to sleep. I think about that a lot. Sleeping. I want to sleep and I want someone to awaken me when it's over.

And I wish they would hurry up and post the updates. It is after 11:00 now. My pillow beckons.

Update: The 11:00 is up and we are just so fucked. I'm going to bed.