Location: Palm Beach County, Florida, United States

Recently have been told I look like Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. I hadn't heard that in years, but that is a good place to start as to what I look like, although she had a better bod. I have three boys and have been married for 13 years. Born of a Navy family, in Hawaii, one Mom, one Dad, one sister and one brother. The eldest of three children. BS in Applied Mathematics. Consider Pensacola my home town although I moved every 2-3 years of my life growing up. Currently work in the aerospace industry in an engineering position while being a Mom. Of Celtic heritage and very proud of it.

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Stench is in the Nose of the Beholder

After the inoculation episode the other day, I promised doughnuts and new shoes to Son#3. Off we went to Payless Shoes. He tried on so many pairs of shoes I completely lost my patience. He did not receive this indecision about clothing from me. We tried on Batman sandals, Spiderman shoes, hunted around for Finding Nemo flip flops and as he tried on every shoe all I kept thinking was, “I pity the poor child who must put his feet into these shoes following Mr. Stinky Feet.” Blech. Yes, he was wearing socks. It does not help.

That afternoon we were all in Publix, our grocery store. As we were walking the aisles, Sons #1 and 2 reminded me we needed to buy Gold Bond Medicated Foot Powder and as a bonus, they knew exactly where it was located. I find this scary. Not only did they have the commercial memorized, while walking the aisles they had done product placement. Unfortunately, all Publix had on the shelves was the Medicated Body Powder, but I picked it up as I thought perhaps it was all in the same and Damn, we needed to do something.

Well, thank you to those of you who explained to me that it works. Shame on you for not telling me it has a distinct ‘medicinal’ smell. I know, I know, you’re probably thinking, “Well, what in the hell did you think it smelled like, Sherlock? It says Med-I-Cine on the damn label.” I just didn’t take it that far in my head.

We no longer have a little boy with stinky rancid paint peeling putrid feet. We now have a little boy that smells…. Like… an… old… man! Blech. It is even worse! I realize part of the problem lies within the fact he put the powder in himself while I wasn’t around… call it youthful exuberance. He has a waft of powder that follows him wherever he goes… kind of like a stinky feet medicated powder PigPen or Pepe Le Peu. It takes all I have not to gag. I am really hoping it wears off because I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I cannot handle 9 hours cooped up in our mini-van tomorrow with him smelling like he does now. I might vomit.

By the way, my French is very limited, but I do know how to conjugate the verb Vomit. Should you ever need that, please let me know and I can assist you!


Blogger littlejoe said...

I can't believe you'd rather smell putrid foot smell than medicine smell....weird.

4:35 AM  
Blogger Contagion said...

I tell you what. you can get the foot powder, get the one that smells kind of minty. And old man is better then rancid feet. You may want to take him to a doctor to have it checked out just to make sure it's not some medical condition.

7:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, what's wrong with smelling like an old man? I've smelled that way for years: mown grass, motor oil, freshly sawed wood, Guinness.... */;-) TGOO

8:40 AM  
Blogger Harvey said...

"a stinky feet medicated powder PigPen"

ROTFL! Loving that visual :-)

And is "Fahrenheit 911" French for "vomit"?

9:41 AM  
Blogger Graumagus said...

ROFL! That's hilarious.
I will say though that I don't think gold bond smells that bad.
Of course I usually use it for kiltrash after wearing the 9 yard all day in 90 degree weather, after which wet dog probably smells better than I do.

10:44 AM  
Blogger Boudicca said...

Little Joe- the rancid putrid foot smell I can cover with shoes. The medicine smell wafts OUT of his shoes! Blech.

Contagion- it is unfortunately hereditary from my maternal grandmother. Amazing to find she has a great grandchild that inherited such stench from the foot. One time she convinced us my Grandfather had paid a surgeon to fix her feet. She asked us to smell them as proof. We all nearly died!

TGOO- There's nothing WRONG with smelling like an old man if you ARE one! :)

Harv- I think in the New Age French dictionary Farenheit 911 translates to Vomit. Also, a picture of Michael Moore has the words imprinted next to it, "Merde tete".

Grau- Yeah, I'm thinking anything smells better than that... heh heh heh

3:30 PM  

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