Very Cool Men from Northern Illinois
Wow. I think that Grau’s commenter was right, this really does belong under his 'steaming piles of wrong' category. It's just so wrong on so many levels and the worst part is… every time I read it I cannot quit laughing! It’s a terrible thing. So GO HERE and I promise, you will never eat chicken wings the same way again. Good stuff. My Blog Father is a funny Man. Note the emphasis on man. (TGOO and TN, you MUST click on the link. No kidding.)
That said, over at Blog Bro Little Joe's, he has a picture of he and Grau. One of the coolest things about Grau is the fact he has such great friends. I love hearing him tell how he remembers Little Joe’s Mom bringing him home from the hospital as an infant. Grau is just a few years older. They’ve been friends that long. So take a look of the picture of them HERE and realize the dimensions of these men and how ‘little’ is really a joke and I cannot quit thinking that if… if… I ever made it to Northern Illinois, and I met up with these men, they wore black and packed some heat, people would think I was some famous person. They’d be saying, “Who is that girl? She must be famous to have such big bodyguards!” Heh. I think I come up to their navels. If I’m wearing heels.
HOWEVER, if I were in Northern Illinois, I would have to stop by and see Contagion of The Spoon and the Blade, also one of Grau’s good friends, as he said if I wanted to I could be a Mortar Maiden of the Month. He'd let me! How cool is that? But, well, OK, there are a couple problems with that… first, I’m not exactly a Maiden. I’m married, got kids, and turn 40 in September. Second, I don’t have the clothes. But, third, and this is the BIG ONE, I am not as voluptuous as his Mortar Maidens of the Month and would not do his Mortar justice. *frown* (BTW, his lovely wife Nessa, carrier of the Big Damn Spoon, and cook extraordinaire is Ms. January!)
SOOO, to see the Mortar Maidens of the Month, HERE for October, HERE for November, HERE for December and HERE for JANUARY!!! It is safe for work, but I have a feeling you men will still enjoy it.
posted by Bou | 9:16 PM
9 Comments:
Hey, just because they are called Mortar Maidens, doesn't actually mean the women/girls are maidens. Nessa is the mother of two... soon to be one.. boys. And some of the future maidens are also not exactly single and childless. Also you don't have to worry about costuming, we have enough for everyone. And trust me, even if you don't think you have the bumpies to fill them out, a bodice tied correctly will make you look at least 2 cup sizes larger! (Guys, get your wives to start re-enacting now!) I think you should come on up, I'm starting to run out of maidens and it's a long time until April 22nd!
Well there is just one other problem with coming up now... it's called... COLD. Holy crap it's cold up there! I'm sitting here right now wearing shorts and a t-shirt, no shoes. I'd frickin' freeze to death up there. I really don't know how y'all do it. I am in complete awe. I think it is very possible that my blood could actually spontaneously freeze in my veins if I set foot in that weather y'all have. Seriously. BRRR. It's freezing right now just thinkin' about it!
However... I must say, the womanly vanity in me is thinking, "wait, my pathetic 32/34 Bs could be 32/34 Ds? Hmmmm...." Heh. Can't imagine that. I would look like I have a waist!!! (Which seemed to have disappeared around pregnancy #3.)
So I'm sitting here, hands going up and down, "Cold weather... big boobs.... cold weather... big boobs"
I'm thinkin' cold weather is winnin' right about now...
BTW, I was going to post on the fact I have no frickin' clue what a snow blower sounds like, but I already posted too much today. 'Tis a terrible thing to have so much crap in one's head...
snowblower sounds like a lawnmower, but it spits white instead of green.
And, ya know, there IS something to be said for the combination of boobs & cold weather...
mmmm... perky ;-)
Hell, I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt with no shoes lastnight. If I don't have to leave the house for more then 15 minutes at a time it doesn't bother me. Maybe its my Scandinavian/Celtic blood, maybe it's the fact I'm of noble girth, maybe it's because my nerve endings were killed off in a horrible case of frost bite when I was 6. (Didn't actually happen, but it makes for a better story)
and Harvey's right, cold weather and jubberlies mix rather well, especially when the cold steel of the mortar is nestled up to them. :)
Bou, if I can outfit Grau with a Cheese Bra, then I can outfit you in your choice of Bumpie pumping bodices. It's not THAT cold outside! C'mon, you know you want to!
Come alongggg....you belongggg....it's not THAT cold.
BWAHahahahaha..ha..ha(teeth chatering)
Bou, you just gotta do it. Just make sure he gives a big sword to have near you. ;-) I think it would be GREAT!!! From the airport to the car, from the car to the hotel/house. Not that long in the cold. I'll lend you my ski coat, socks, ect. You'll be toastie warm. You can even go to that ski shop on US1
arghhhhhhhhhh I hate my laptop some days. And you can go to the Ski shop on US1 and get some of those little heatie thingies. Great to put in gloves (I have those you can use too).
Ack! I want to go, I want to go! If anything, just to look busty and not be pregnant to have to do so! :)
If I didn't have that whole kid thing, I'd probably do this... I can feel it would be one of those impulsive, "I'm DOING this!"
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