If Creamers Were Weapons the War Would be Won!
I went to breakfast with VW and her boys yesterday, my three in tow. That made 5 boys and 2 Moms and I’d be lyin’ to you if I didn’t say we got stares. Even a little kid wanted to come by and say hello. No joke. But our kids are really good kids and other than my two eldest who love to see if they can make VW’s eldest laugh, it is uneventful… usually.
Per the usual, the hostess or waitress ask if VW and I want to start with a coffee while we wait to order and per the usual it is met with an emphatic, “YES!” and per the usual, VW and I fixed our coffees how we BOTH really like them… a whole lotta cream and a whole lotta sugar. Typically, we take the empty creamers and let her eldest play with them. He likes to pretend he is putting creamer in my coffee. But on this morning, VW takes a full creamer and tosses it to her very happy son.
VW’s boy is sitting between my 9 year old and my 7 year old. They love to put him between them and play. Being only 2 and a total parrot, he is a blast. The 2 year old takes hold of the creamer and both my boys look at us and say, “Is he allowed to have that” to which VW and I both blow them off and say, “yeah, yeah, yeah”.
Then we heard a “Pop”. I look over and VW’s Son#1 has taken the creamer and put the bottom of it in his mouth, between his teeth… and chomped down. The lid was pointing out. The “Pop” we heard was the pressure of the creamer ‘popping’ the cardboard lid off the plastic creamer. My eldest had a creamer spot on his chest. He looked like he’d been shot. But the funniest part was behind him… all over the paneled wall was creamer, splattered across it like blood in the movies. We all just sat there looking at each other, rather stunned. Then of course we quickly got up and cleaned up our mess, we try very hard to keep our kids well behaved and our messes minimized…
But it was just so funny. “Pop”. Quiet. Cream all over. Little boy with a creamer in his teeth pointed directly at my eldest. My eldest had been shot by a creamer. Her eldest has damn good aim.