On the First Day, God Created Light

We’ve decided we won’t evacuate. Frickin’ Frances is moving too fast. So we’re hunkering down and I’m getting us ready.

Home Depot sold $150,000 worth of generators. This.Morning. They’re sold out. Tomorrow I’m running to Lowes to see what they have going on.

I went to Home Depot to pick up two items. The first was workman’s gloves. I picked up a pair for me and my spouse. We need to protect our hands while hauling out the 12 tons of aluminum in my garage.

The second thing I needed was a tiny little flashlight bulb for his mega-man flashlight. I replaced the square battery last night and that didn’t solve the problem. So off I go in search of a tiny little light bulb, the size of a finger tip. Luckily, I kept the lightbulb in my pocket.

Now I want to know honestly if I am the only one who feels this way. When I think flashLIGHT I think LIGHTing department. Does anyone else see this association here? LIGHT? Off I go to the lighting section. I already feel self conscious because I’m the only woman in there. Everyone else in the morning hours are manly men looking for something they needed for some manly man project they are building. I don’t usually feel self conscious since I’ve spent most of my life around men, but for some reason, a couple odd looks made me feel like I had a “Kick Me” sign on my back or food on my face and I instantly no longer wanted to be there. I kept wondering if I looked stupid or lost. So now I have a look of determination that I know EXACTLY where I’m going and I WILL find this without asking for help.

Down the lighting aisles I go. Bright Lights all over. No flashlights. I see lightbulbs. A whole aisle of them. Somehow on that aisle, I spotted the ONLY lightbulb for flashlights… it was the wrong size. Finally after about 15 minutes, I realize I’m going to have to break up one of the many conversations going on amongst the employees and ask for help. The guy takes me to hardware. HARDWARE. Why in the hell are flashlights with hardware? They should be with LIGHTS because they CREATE LIGHT!

Right above the flashLIGHTS hang dozens of tiny little lightbulbs. On not one, NOT ONE, is there a listing on the package as to the voltage. I pull out my little lightbulb and in miniscule writing, fit for a mouse if they could write, it has the voltage, which I can barely read, and “Made in Hong Kong”, which jumped out. This gentleman and I are picking all the packages up, one by one, squinting our eyes, comparing numbers, until we could find the right voltage. What a pain in the neck.

The person who decided not to put the specs for the bulbs on the packaging should be shot. The person from Home Depot who designed their layout needs to rethink it. FlashLIGHTS belong in LIGHTing!!!! And that one little lonely flashLIGHT bulb sitting by itself in the LIGHTing department is in the CORRECT place and it should be joined by all it’s little flashLIGHT bulb friends!