More 'Fiction' from my 1st Son

There appears to be a fine line between reality and fiction in my 1st son’s head. Remember the paper he wrote on his hero (HERE), and how it was true that my father in law’s ship got hit by a kamikaze that bounced off and exploded next to the DE, and the ship then took on water, everyone abandoned ship and was saved, but how Son#1 had the ship sinking, people getting eaten by sharks and my father in law floating unconscious up to a beach where he was rescued? Yeah, well reality stitched with fiction struck again.

This paper was supposed to be on their favorite holiday. Now a little background… my brother, who is 2 years younger than I, lives in Los ANGELES, and loves to play with my kids. When we all get together, when they are sleeping, he is known to do things like fill their beds with egg noodles,toilet paper the room, or pester them while thye're trying to sleep with the hidden Fart Machine. He works funky hours so he sleeps late and keeps late hours, so he’ll sometimes draw and leave them little cartoons on the kitchen table for them to find at breakfast. Now there is this running joke that he is going to give them a swirly… which is stick their head in a toilet and flush. But he has NEVER done it, he only teases them.

So now for this month’s essay, which is exactly as he wrote it, and when you’ll read it you’ll understand why he got a 51% on his standardized testing for capitalization, although he scored in the 98% overall… he and I are working on this capitalization thing.

Aunt! Uncle! Grampa! Grandma! BEACH!!!! Fun!!!! It’s almost here…. Christmass, My favorite holiday.

Christmass in pensacola is always fun. I can’t wait to see my aunt and uncle. My aunt is alot of fun. My uncle is like an owl he sleeps till lunch and is from vegas. He also stays up past 3:00 am. If I'm lucky He’ll do stuff to us while we’re sleeping. One time he put my head in the trash, He gave my brother a swirly, and the other he put in the closet. He’s decorated our room with toilet paper. I can go much farther but I have a limit amount of paper. I can understand toilet paper but he gave out swirleys. You pretty much just imagine getting swirleys. Still you gotta admit, he is alot of fun.

I also want to go to The beach. Its so much fun. I bring gogles, a shuvle, and sandwich. I’ll ocassionally bring plastic bags to catch fish. I like places to stand that go down like a pool and go up on all sides. I go down and choose wich fish I like most.

Well 23 more days and its here.

OK, so we have some spelling issues too. He and I are going over all of it. But here’s the deal, his teacher who was slated to leave on maternity leave TODAY, now in her head has this enormous story that sounds like something out of a Robert Ludlum novel about my father in law and she thinks my brother sticks my kid’s heads in toilets. While I was in school today paying the bills, I saw his teacher from last year and told her, “PLEASE when you see Mrs. D tell her, that none of this is true…” and I explained the stories.

The really funny part however, is we are very accustomed to the reality of my father in law’s WWII story and as I started to tell the REAL story, which is amazing, the teacher I was talking to stopped me and said, “Wait. Are you telling me the real story now or the fictional story?”, to which I replied, “No, this part is the REAL story and if you think it’s incredible, wait until you hear the one Son#1 gave his teacher!”