Name:
Location: Palm Beach County, Florida, United States

Recently have been told I look like Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. I hadn't heard that in years, but that is a good place to start as to what I look like, although she had a better bod. I have three boys and have been married for 13 years. Born of a Navy family, in Hawaii, one Mom, one Dad, one sister and one brother. The eldest of three children. BS in Applied Mathematics. Consider Pensacola my home town although I moved every 2-3 years of my life growing up. Currently work in the aerospace industry in an engineering position while being a Mom. Of Celtic heritage and very proud of it.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Last Night's Celebration

In case you are wondering what it is like in the House of Boudicca for an anniversary… this is last night’s take. Don’t worry, it is work safe. My folks read my blog.

A dear friend of mine offered to take ALL THREE of my boys to spend the night Friday night with her son, who is best buds with my eldest. Holy crap. What do you say to that? Well, of course I said yes, but still, how amazingly nice. We have never ever been in our home over night without our kids. So we are saving the going out to dinner “and stuff” for Friday night. Yes, I will NOT be blogging about Friday night. *grin*

So last night I told my husband to go the gym per his usual Tuesday routine and come home whenever and I’d have dinner ready. I had prepared a special dinner, but nothing grand. I don’t like gift giving on Anniversaries. I don’t know why, but I just don’t. I find it annoying. It’s one more thing I have to put on my damn list to do and if he wants something, he buys it anyway, so I hate it. Gift giving holidays are birthdays and Christmas and this year we aren’t exchanging gifts on Christmas because we have hurricane damage to pay for. So as he leaves for work yesterday I yell after him, “Remember! Do NOT get me anything! Do you hear me?!” to which he hollers back from his car, “yes!” It was safe to say the morning of because he never buys anything until the day of. If the mall was open on Christmas day, he would shop on Christmas day.

Am I or am I not a man’s dream of a wife when it comes to this? Granted I am a real pain in the butt as I can be combative and dig my heels in and am very strong minded and strong willed, but when it comes to this gift giving stuff, I am really frickin’ easy. I mean, come on, I bought my own birthday gifts, put them in his closet and said, “Just wrap them with the boys and they’ll be happy”. Of course he was frickin’ LOVING me as September 8 rolled around and every store in Palm Beach County was closed due to devastation from Hurricane Frances. He was completely prepared, however, as his wife had it all taken care of. His big stress was trying to find eggs to bake my cake with the boys.

Anyway, he gets in from the gym last night about 7 and he has two dozen roses. He stopped by and picked them up on his way home. Now, yes, it was sweet, but in my book, folks, this constitutes as 'something'. This is evidently where this whole Mars/Venus thing happens. I said to him, “You weren’t supposed to get me anything!” to which he replies, “This isn’t anything, it’s just flowers! It’s not like its jewelry.” to which I retort, “It is organic matter! IT IS SOMETHING!!” Geez.

Yes, I did thank him. And I put them in water and arranged them… which means they are symmetrically arranged, red, white, red, white, 8 in each quadrant as I’m too left brained and can’t ‘arrange’ frickin’ anything to save my life. In that aspect, I am a very crappy wife.

We’re going to bed last night and he says sheepishly, “Well, I bought this last week. I had to give it to you.” It was two boxes from Hoffman’s candy store, one of peanut brittle and one of Hoffman’s dark chocolate… I am a dark chocolate freak. How could I be mad? I kissed him and said, “Ok. At least I know what I’m having for breakfast tomorrow.”

So here’s my big concern. We completely agreed on NO gift exchanging for Christmas. We’re going to have to revisit this issue so he completely understands when I say NO, I mean really seriously, nothing. It’s just really really unfair to agree to something and then go back on your word. I love Christmas as much as the next, but I am going to have a very bad Christmas if we agree to nothing and then there is something under the tree for me. I’m going to be very hurt amd very very angry. I am hoping to make this very plain and clear. His heart is in the right place, he likes to do nice things for me... but a deal is a deal.

8 Comments:

Blogger Ogre said...

Sorry, deal's off. Already. Yes, I'm sure. Go ahead and stop digging in your heels, he's going to get you something.

9:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been burned like this before at Christmas. My wife and I agreed no presents for each other, and the day rolls around and there's a present for me from her. It just doesn't feel right to us not to give each other _something_. Now we agree on a nominal amount for each other, so we boh get each other a gift but it's not outrageous. It works out a lot better that way. Neither of us feels guilty about a) spending too much money on ourselves, or b) Getting a present but not giving one. 'Cuz option "B" sucks.

9:53 AM  
Blogger Quality Weenie said...

Not getting anything for Christmas is really bad, no matter what you say or what kind of money you have or don't have.

Set a very limited amount. Hubby and I have agreed now to just $50 dollars because hey if we want something we just go and buy it, but it's the idea that this person went out and picked it out especially for you and with you in mind that makes the present, no matter how small very special.

Because like you I would just go buy what I wanted for Christmas and tell him to wrap it but I realized there is no fun in that and I wanted something that he himself picked out with me in mind. Makes it even better even though it's small.

12:58 PM  
Blogger Quality Weenie said...

Not getting anything for Christmas is really bad, no matter what you say or what kind of money you have or don't have.

Set a very limited amount. Hubby and I have agreed now to just $50 dollars because hey if we want something we just go and buy it, but it's the idea that this person went out and picked it out especially for you and with you in mind that makes the present, no matter how small very special.

Because like you I would just go buy what I wanted for Christmas and tell him to wrap it but I realized there is no fun in that and I wanted something that he himself picked out with me in mind. Makes it even better even though it's small.

12:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You aren't going to post about Friday night? Darn, er, I mean good! *EG* As for Christmas, I agree with the above comments: give it up, set a small amount, and roll with it. It will make things much happier for all. :)

LW

1:29 PM  
Blogger Boudicca said...

Y'all are also making the gross assumption that he will actually adhere to this amount of money.

1:33 PM  
Blogger Jody said...

I'm with you on the gift giving thing. We just buy what we want pretty much when we want it. I do like the ideas for a set $ amount- not sure that my hubby would stick to it, though.

When we got married we decided that because travel was something we both wanted to do more of that we would plan trips as our gifts. Ireland in the spring... I've been, hubby hasn't. I just can't wait!!

2:55 PM  
Blogger Tammi said...

Ok darlin' here's my two cents worth....

Let him do it. I'm sure he knows how you feel, but think about him. If it gives him pleasure, joy to give you a small gift let him. Have something sweet for him under the tree and just don't sweat it.

Ya'll communicate wonderfully. It's not like he doesn't know how you feel. Still, if he really wants to do it, let him.

It's like when someone gives you a compliment. You're supposed to say Thank you. That's it. Not, oh, this old dress, I just pulled it out of the back of the closet. Or, oh, I've put on so much weight I look terrible. That's robbing the other person of the joy of giving.

I know you don't want to do that. Go ahead, let him do it. It's actually for both of you.

9:04 PM  

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