Name:
Location: Palm Beach County, Florida, United States

Recently have been told I look like Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. I hadn't heard that in years, but that is a good place to start as to what I look like, although she had a better bod. I have three boys and have been married for 13 years. Born of a Navy family, in Hawaii, one Mom, one Dad, one sister and one brother. The eldest of three children. BS in Applied Mathematics. Consider Pensacola my home town although I moved every 2-3 years of my life growing up. Currently work in the aerospace industry in an engineering position while being a Mom. Of Celtic heritage and very proud of it.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Hat tip to Sally for this Post

While we were talking about cleaning or 'creative rearranging' as commenter 'Nessa' put it, Blog sister Sally brought out about my boys and what it must be like in their bathroom.  Of course this reminded me of a story...
 
My boys are very clean when it comes to the restroom. I may have potty trained them, but my husband taught them how to aim and hit the target.  (Just didn't have the same meaning coming from me.  Heh.)  I have had friends of boys comment on how clean my boy's bathroom is.  In the last year, I have only had to wash the rugs once due to poor aim.  
  
I don't understand this thing, however, about men/boys having to pee other places than in the restroom.  Is this some primal marking of the territory thing?  I have a friend whose husband has actually peed on every tree around her house.  Sorry. Don't identify. I never once have had the urge to go out and squat next to some bushes in my yard.  My husband has been emphatic that if there is a restroom available, the boys are to use it.  There is no playing outside in the yard, "Oh I have to pee" then go find a tree.   Now I didn't see what the big deal was initially, but now I'm kind of glad he did it.  I have been out at a kid's outdoor party way too many times when some mother is suddenly running after her four year old boy who has decided to drop his drawers and pee wherever, because "hey, he was outside, this is what he does at home".  The mother is always horribly embarrassed.  That has never happened to me, with great thanks to my better half...  not that my kids haven't embarrassed me beyond belief in other ways.
 
So two weeks ago, my boys are on the back porch blowing bubbles and as I walk past the slider I hear Son#3 declare to Son#2, "Oh yeah! Well watch this!  I can pee in those bubbles."  I look over and on the porch is a small bottle of bubbles, lid off, and he is about to whip it out and demonstrate his great aim.  I immediately put a stop to it.  I was horrified. 
 
Me:  Do not pee in those bubbles! Do you understand? It is dirty!  Do not do it.
Son#3:  OK
Me:  No, I'm serious. Connect with me little buddy, do not pee in those bubbles. It's going to make me angry.  Do not pee in those bubbles.  Look me in the eye, and what did I just say?
Son#3: Don't pee in the bubbles.
 
I figured I had made my point.  Last week Son#2 says to me, "I have something to tell you, but I know you're going to be mad."  I hate it when they say things like this.  So after much cajoling and my promising that if it isn't a true safety issue I won't get mad he says, "He peed in the bubbles after you told him not to." 
 
Blech.  What in the hell would possess him?  What is it with this urge so strong to pee someplace else that he would disobey me?  I don't even want to know if they tried out these bubbles after he peed in them.  Maybe he wanted to see if they were yellow or smelled funky. I don't know.  But do you know what actually amazes me most? The incredibly ridiculous things I hear myself say, that I would never, for all the money in the world, would ever have bet I would hear come from my mouth. Things like, "Do not pee in those bubbles!"

8 Comments:

Blogger Anathematized1 said...

I'm female, and was quite the tom-boy growing up.

Well, to make a long story short. Let's just say I developed AMAZING aim while standing up, and...well...the great outdoors was nothing but my own personal urinal.

"Why," you ask? Because I could.

10:11 PM  
Blogger littlejoe said...

I guess for me it's just something about the cool breeze, the call of nature, and the laziness of going inside.

Naaah...I just like peeing outside, always have, never like, in the neighborhood, but out in the woods, or whatever I enjoy it.

3:08 AM  
Blogger Graumagus said...

I do have to admit that on three occasions I have had to pee so bad when I got home from work I bypassed the door and watered my bushes (hey, at least it was 3am).
And now, cue the cooler jokes....

3:13 AM  
Blogger Harvey said...

You've heard the saying, "when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail"?

When all you have is a gun, everything looks like a target :-)

10:14 AM  
Blogger Sally said...

I genuinely believe that most men attain a level of hygiene at the age of five, and never develop the skill any further.I never had a brother, so I was really shocked to find that men don't use loo paper to *ahem* dab off the excess...I couldn't believe it. They SHAKE it? Onto the tiles? Guess they're not the ones cleaning the bathrooms! By the way, Sis, remember to ask Dad about his xxxBlackPeeingPorn days ;)

10:38 AM  
Blogger Contagion said...

I guess maybe it's because I did a lot of camping as a kid and still do, but I pee outside all the time. In fact I'm so used to it, I don't think about it. However I don't pee in my yard, I can make it to the bathroom... (eyeing Grau curiously). Now you want a good story, Since grau brought it up, he should tell the cooler story, er dye bath that is. hehehehe.

11:25 AM  
Blogger Tammi said...

One of the few things my ex did that I appreciated was breaking his boys of the habit their mother had allowed them to pick-up. Peeing anywhere they wanted. When we first moved to the cattle farm everyone was getting used to the new "gadgets". One thing was the electric fence that surrounded the property.

One Sunday I was in baking bread (yes I did that stuff - I was a farm wife) when I hear this unholy howl. I run outside and my middle (step)son is rolling around on the ground holding himself. My ex was laughing so hard he had tears on his face.

Seems he had convinced young #2 to try and pee on the electric fence. He did. Once.

(Hey - I never said he was a nice guy, just that I appreciated the end result)

9:02 PM  
Blogger Boudicca said...

That's the part I would dread most about camping, is having to pee outside! I'm dead on serious. Well that and the fact I like to have a shower every day... and I don't really like to sleep on the ground because then my body hurts an awful lot... :)

9:58 PM  

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