20 Billion Questions and not many Answers

Twenty questions doesn’t apply in my house. It’s 20 Billion questions, on a daily basis. With very verbal and inquisitive boys, I get questions shot at me, at machine gun fire speed. Some of them are so ridiculous that my answer is sometimes, “And why would I know that?!”, to which their response usually is, “Because you’re Mom and you know everything, remember?” That’s a throw in your face from when they question me about something I’VE said and I say, “Because I’m your Mom and I know everything.” It is never ending and sometimes frustrating, but this is what happens when two ‘scientist’ type people have offspring. You play 20 Billion questions, every single day.

I decided to write down a few, just to give you a sample of what I hear.

I was explaining to them about President Reagan’s funeral. We were watching it together. There was an entire Q&A session that I can’t even begin to explain, but we ended up some how talking about how Reagan was almost assassinated.

Q: “Can I be President one day?”
Q: “If I were President, would someone want to kill me?” (I told them yes.)
Q: “Would you want to be President?” (I told them hell no.)
Q: “So, Mom, do you think it hurts worse to get shot in the head or in the side?”

We moved on to other assassination attempts because that is just where the conversation took us. We were now at JFK.

Q: “Mom, Mom, Mom, why did they only shoot him? Why didn’t they shoot his wife too?” (I didn’t know what to say to that. I just said, “OK, let’s turn on Sponge Bob now.”)

And two other odd questions I heard this week, not pertaining to Presidents, death, or funerals:

Q: “Do chickens burp?”

And last but not least, I heard this the other night, out of the blue, from a voice from the back of my mini-van:

Q: “Hey Mom, would you rather die by someone jumping on you or by jumping off a cliff?”

Questions are innocent right now, rather benign, but there is a Murphy’s Law type rule in my house. All sex questions will more than likely be asked while I am driving down I-95 going 75 MPH,with all three kids in the back. I will probably freak and have to concentrate avoiding driving off the road killing us all. Not looking forward to it.