Location: Palm Beach County, Florida, United States

Recently have been told I look like Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. I hadn't heard that in years, but that is a good place to start as to what I look like, although she had a better bod. I have three boys and have been married for 13 years. Born of a Navy family, in Hawaii, one Mom, one Dad, one sister and one brother. The eldest of three children. BS in Applied Mathematics. Consider Pensacola my home town although I moved every 2-3 years of my life growing up. Currently work in the aerospace industry in an engineering position while being a Mom. Of Celtic heritage and very proud of it.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

HE Doesn't Scream for Ice Cream

It’s amazing to me how the human body just knows something is not good for it.

Son#2 is lactose intolerant. It’s something we stumbled upon last year. He may also have other stomach problems, but the bulk of the problem has been this lactose thing. I cannot believe how bad it got before we realized there was a real problem. This boy, this very small boy, all of 7 years old and 35 pounds, can pass the foulest most rancid smelling gas you have ever had the horrible displeasure of smelling. It is bad. I mean BAD. How baaaaad is it, you ask? It is so bad, I swear the air you breathe turns green. It is paint peeling off the walls bad. It is ‘I might vomit’ bad. It is as bad as Son#3’s horrible smelly feet. (Which, by the way, are not so bad now that we threw away the offending shoes and he started to wear socks… a mandatory in school.)

So we have been dealing with this smelly, gagging, ‘could be used as a weapon of mass destruction’, ‘something surely crawled up him and died’ gas for about a year or two. And let me tell you, YES, there were days when we were in my closed up mini van, hauling ass down I-95, when Son#3 took off his shoes and Son#2 passed a big green stink bomb and I thought for sure I would veer off the road and kill us all. I can tell, they are destined to be great men.

Then the stomach aches really started. I ignored him, being the bad Mom I am, oh there is another post on that, because when you have three kids someone is always whining, complaining or wailing they got the shaft. Always. So you ignore it. Tune it out, yes I do. Until one day when the teacher says, “Your son is having some real stomach problems. We’ve been dealing with it in school and you may need to see someone.” How embarrassing.

Off to the pedo we traipse, to find out he might have a stomach ulcer, he might be lactose intolerant and a couple other things. He gave me a kids script for Zantac and we decided to eliminate dairy.

His stomach is not 100% anymore, but let me tell you, I have not gagged since. This whole gas issue seems to have passed… literally. And this is where my amazement comes in.

When we eat pizza or something with cheese, he’s jumps up to get a lactaid. No question. I switched him to lactose free milk. No issue. But the big surprise… he no longer likes ice cream. Can you frickin’ imagine?!! I’d rather poke my eye out with a pencil then give up ice cream. Over night, or so it seems, he just said ‘no more’. His body has told him it doesn’t like it, so now I have a kid who walks through the aisles of Publix saying, “Hmmm… Mom… what do you think Mango sorbet tastes like?” and he is content to eat fruity frozen stuff.

In my mind it’s a travesty. No chocolate ice cream? No coffee ice cream? No coffee ice cream with chocolate chunks or swirl? Nope. Just sorbet… preferably orange or strawberry and I am amazed.


Blogger Helen said...

I SO understand the lactose intolerance. I too have it, and instead of the bad gas, I just get bloated. Like, Moby Dick variety bloated. And just as your son was once big on the ice cream, I once nourished a healthy one-gallon of milk a day habit (in spite of being lactose intolerant!) But at some point, I started associating the stomach cramps and horribleness with the milk, and now I can't even stand the smell of the stuff. Maybe your son has had a similar ice cream experience-associated it with upset tummy, and turned right off it?

5:25 AM  
Blogger Quality Weenie said...

“Hmmm… Mom… what do you think Mango sorbet tastes like?”

I tell you, I think your blog is the funniest I have ever read. If I need a laugh to cheer me up I can always count on a good story or line from you.

7:59 AM  
Blogger pamibe said...

How intelligent Son#2 is at the young age of 7!
Youngest step-daughter had an ulcer very young, but though it cleared right up with medication they didn't discover that she was lactose intolerant for years! Son#2 is ahead of the game! :)

8:58 AM  
Blogger Harvey said...

On the bright side, frozen desert technology has seen incredible advancements over the last decade, so going without ice cream isn't NEARLY the tragedy it once was :-)

9:10 AM  
Blogger Sally said...

Does that mean he can't have...cream? What about all those comment parties when he's older?
Bless him, being so mature. He's a credit to you.

9:14 AM  

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