Yardwork or the Rotunda? Can't decide what to wear...

I saw Lyndon B. Johnson lying in State 30 years ago. I remember all of it. I was 8. I remember waiting in the snow, in the cold, with my parents and younger siblings. I remember my Dad taking turns holding us in his big thick Navy wool coat. I remember the Marines standing guard. I remember we dressed nicely.

Have you seen the pictures of the Average Americans waiting in line to see President Reagan lying in State in the Rotunda? I am appalled. Consider the following my verbal, much deserved, spanking to the Average American who showed up in indecent attire.

Where in the hell did you think you were going? Did you stand in line for something because everyone else was, thinking it was a line to a frickin’ amusement park and then realize, “Oh! Look at that dear, it’s a coffin, draped in a flag, guarded by Marines! Oh My! We must’ve stumbled across a President lying in State!”? Give me damn break. Were you raised in a damn barn? Did your mother never tell you that you DRESS for funerals and weddings? Hey, it may be great for you that your cousin Bubba doesn’t give a rat’s ass that you showed up to his wedding in cut-off jeans and a T-shirt that says, “My Mom went to the Bahamas and all I got was this lousy T-shirt”, but guess what, Bub, it’s TACKY and RUDE to show up to a Presidential ceremony of mourning wearing that same attire. I wish the honor guard had had the express permission to take you outside and tan your hide for it, ‘cause guess what? You deserved it!

Oh I know, it was hot. Wah wah. Khacki pants, a pair of loafers, and a short sleeved cotton sports shirt with collar would have sufficed, ‘gentlemen’, and I use that term loosely. And ‘ladies’, a term I use equally loosely, you are even less to be excused as our society allows us to wear dresses which are much cooler than pants! Yes! It is true! You could have worn a simple cotton frock, a simple sundress with sandals and I would have thought, “understated, yet appropriate”. But no. You all had to represent our country in your weekend yardwork worst. Some of you probably didn’t even brush your hair. Let alone your teeth.

You should be ashamed! Very ashamed! I am using you as an example to my children of how not to behave. Boorish behavior will not be tolerated in my family. It shouldn’t be tolerated in yours. Shape up, America! You’re an embarrassment!

And to think you dressed this way for a President who made us feel so good about ourselves, who made us swell with pride that we are American. A President and his wife who brought so much class and dignity to the White House.

Shame on you!